Speaking a different language

I sometimes wish that I had the invention that Homer Simpson's brother Herb invented in The Simpsons which translated baby talk for Maggie Simpson. It would hear a gurgle and translate that into "I soiled myself, how embarassing". I hear my daughter grunt and I wonder if she is hungry, sleepy or has soiled her self. I know that some choos or grizzling means I am hungry or sleepy, but the grunt confuses me at times and that is when I need the invention. Just now she was grunting and it turned out she had wet herself, so just for those moments I need his invention, "Daddy, I just have just wet myself, how embarassing!".